Hey there, lovely readers! đź’– Let’s talk about something that’s been on my mind lately. It’s one of those not-so-fun aspects of the modern dating world that’s been confusing and frustrating many of us: benching.
If you’re someone like me, who believes that relationships should be built on deep connections, respect, and trust, then the whole concept of benching is probably a little… well, confusing (and honestly, kind of disappointing). So, let’s take a moment to break it down and explore what it really means, how it feels, and why it might not be the healthiest thing in the world.
What Is Benching?
First off, if you’ve never heard of benching before, don’t worry! It’s one of those newer terms that’s been floating around in the world of dating. Essentially, benching is when someone keeps you around as an option without really committing or putting in the effort. They don’t necessarily want to be with you, but they also don’t want to lose the possibility of a relationship with you in the future.
Think of it like this: You’re placed on the “bench” (like a backup player in sports) while they play around with other options. It can be incredibly frustrating because it leaves you feeling like you’re not a priority, and more like a “just in case” person. Not exactly the kind of treatment anyone deserves, right?
How Does Benching Feel?
Okay, let’s get real for a second. Being benched can feel like you’re constantly wondering where you stand. One moment, they might show interest or make you feel special, and the next moment, they pull away or leave you hanging. It creates this emotional rollercoaster, and let’s be honest, it’s exhausting.
Now, imagine being someone like me, someone who’s an old school lover. I’ve always believed that for intimacy and connection to be meaningful, there has to be real feelings involved. When I’m with someone, I need to feel that respect, that genuine emotional connection. I can’t be intimate or share any sort of closeness with someone unless I have those feelings. It’s just who I am, and that’s okay.
But the idea of benching? It doesn’t sit right with me. It’s almost the opposite of what I value in a relationship. If I’m being honest, it kind of goes against everything I believe in.
Why Benching Hurts
If you’re on the receiving end of benching, it can feel like you’re not good enough to be fully invested in. You might start questioning yourself, thinking, “Why am I not enough for them to give me their full attention?” The truth is, you are enough. It’s just that the person you’re dealing with isn’t seeing things the way they should.
This kind of behavior isn’t fair to anyone. It can be emotionally draining to constantly be kept in limbo, wondering if you’re being taken seriously or if you’re just a placeholder.
What To Do If You’re Being Benched
Here’s the thing: You deserve better. You deserve someone who wants to prioritize you, who’s willing to put in the effort, and who values you for who you are. If you find yourself being benched, it might be time to have an honest conversation with the person and let them know how you’re feeling. If they’re not giving you the respect and attention you deserve, then maybe it’s time to move on.
Life’s too short to waste your energy on people who don’t truly value you. And trust me, there’s someone out there who will see your worth and make you feel like you’re their priority.
My Thoughts on Modern Dating
I get it, the modern dating world can feel like a maze. With all the apps, texting, and constantly shifting expectations, it’s easy to get lost in it all. But here’s my perspective: respect and feelings matter. If someone’s not willing to meet you halfway, then they’re not the right person for you, no matter how cute or fun they may seem at first.
It’s not just about the number of dates or casual flings. For me, it’s about creating something that’s real and meaningful. And if I don’t have feelings for someone, there’s no way I can get intimate with them. It’s just how I operate.
So, if you’re someone who values real connections, don’t settle for being benched. You’re worthy of so much more than that.
Wrapping It Up
In conclusion, benching isn’t just a modern dating trend, it’s an emotional game that can leave people feeling hurt and uncertain. Whether you’re someone who’s been benched or you’re just trying to navigate these tricky waters, remember this: You deserve someone who chooses you, sees you, and values you for who you are.
And hey, if you ever feel like you’re stuck in this dating cycle, just take a step back and remember: You’re worthy of all the love and respect you give to others. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than that.
You’re not just an option, you’re a priority. ❤️
Let’s keep supporting each other through this crazy, beautiful journey of love and connection. You’ve got this. 💫